Do you remember the song “Epic” from Faith No More? Well, the singer (Mike Patton) has since been involved in hundreds of projects and bands. However, I don’t think anything that Patton has done since 1989 has come close to achieving the commercial success as that breakout hit. This particular song is a solid piece of genre-bending Hip Hop off of a pretty interesting album. From my understanding this album was largely composed and arranged via emails between “General Patton” and the X-Ecutioners back in good old 2005. I was sending a lot of emails that year myself…in my underwear. It’s not what you think. I didn’t have air conditioning, and 2005 was the year that I moved to Los Angeles with my then girlfriend who shall remain nameless… but her name rhymes with “Snarb.” So, shortly after moving to LA to pursue the American dream I began living the nightmare… (see below)


After moving my ENTIRE LIFE to the fucking edge of the country to live in some shithole studio apartment with my then girlfriend, I got engaged and proceeded to live out the most toxic relationship of anyone that I know!  I will not bore you, nor incriminate myself (or ESPECIALLY my Ex) with some of the specifics, but just know that our arrangement for future marital bliss was a complete sham.  We broke up and got back together at least 5-10 times a day for two years straight!  Talk about awkward stuff.  Ever been in a relationship like that? Hopefully you have not. Those two years in LA were totally surreal.  It was like my life, and that relationship were put into a pressure cooker.  The two of us were squeezed into a shoebox-sized apartment where we watched pirated BASIC cable with a shitty reception whilst sitting on a blowup mattress (because we couldn’t fit a couch in there), eating micro-waved dinners every night…shall I go on?  OK then… We were cut off from our families that were a thousand miles away, so there was no place to run when the arguments got loud. We were FORCED to deal with the issues right then and there. If it were a reality show, the ratings would have been sky high due to the constant drama…that SHE brought on. Everyone back home, mind you, was under the impression that we were lovers in paradise- having NO IDEA about our screaming matches taking place, that were broadcast throughout the entire building by way of those paper thin walls (which happened to be loaded with millions of cockroaches).  Nope. I was TRAPPED in a loveless courtship of codependence! Luckily nobody else in the building spoke English, or the authorities may have been called as a result of a few of those arguments.  But yeah, those were the days; we didn’t have a pot to piss in, barely scraping by, no AC, dripping sweat, and hated each other’s guts! That was truly a relationSHIT (as Dane Cook would put it). Anyway, the song-  Fire in the Hole: Off the Hook track.  probably Rusty Fish Hook’s favorite song of 2005.  Dig in!

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