Awkward Stuff - Gummy Vitamins and supplements

Awkward Stuff – Gummy Vitamins and supplements

 

REMEMBER TO CHEW YOUR VITAMINS AND SUPPLEMENTS…

 

Do you remember when taking your vitamins and supplements involved a pill that you needed to wash down with liquid? You were always careful to NOT bite it, lest you intended for your mouth to taste like absolute death for the next hour and a half.  Sometimes that drink would go down the hatch, but the vitamins and supplements would get stuck in your throat- dissolving, and slowly unleashing HELL upon your taste buds.  When did this country become a big bunch of pussies? Pardon my motherfucking French, but God DAMN! I’m serious. Somewhere between the Revolutionary War and the pilot episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, this country devolved into a bunch of oversensitive, pansy-weight sissies!   Forget political correctness, and THAT whole argument. This rant is about how we’re all just a bunch of overgrown children. I went to the store to get some vitamins and supplements, but I couldn’t find what I was looking for: PILLS. These days it seems everything is a fucking chewy goddamn animal shape!  I’m 35 years old! I need my vitamins and supplements, and I don’t want to eat Barney Rubble’s head every time I’m trying to hit my RDA of various nutrients. I just wanna pop a pill in my mouth and be on my way. Wash it down with some liquid, you know- do what grownups have been doing for centuries…or decades, at least. But yeah, a pill washed down with some O.J. really gets the juices flowing on a beautiful morning.  It’s a great way to ingest your vitamins and supplements.  I’m open to other beverage options, it doesn’t have to be O.J. but that’s not my point.

 

This whole obsession with chewable vitamins and supplements has gotten completely out of hand. I don’t remember ever seeing my dad chewing on his daily dinosaur-shaped, lime-flavored gummy vitamins and supplements. This is fucked! Someone somewhere must have decided that putting a pill in your mouth and washing it down with liquid is just too much to ask from an adult in today’s society.  People are getting their heads cut off in other countries, and here in the U.S.A we need to have our vitamins and supplements in the form of a gummy-bear shaped, watermelon jelly thing… because the PILL hurts our throat!  It’s a fucking embarrassment!  Just like our vitamins and supplements, we are getting soft as a country.  Meanwhile, the rest of the world is just waiting for our economy to collapse so they can kick in our windows in the middle of the night when we will have no defense.   We are depleting the world’s resources and acting like spoiled little bitches in the process. People are eating bugs in other countries, while (if they are fortunate enough to have a TV, or computer) catching a glimpse of how the Kardashians bicker about whose mustache is thicker inside any one of six ridiculously oversized mansions. chewy vitamins and supplements, I tell ya.  This is how we are portrayed to the rest of the world! A lot of countries want to see us burn for our greed, and I don’t totally blame them. The truth is a hard pill to swallow.  Point me toward the chewable section…

 

I am Rusty Fish Hook, and I just fucked you up with some truth.  #KennyPowers

 

If you want to read more Rusty’s Rants click HERE.
 
 
 

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2 Comments on "Chewable Vitamins and Supplements"


Member
Flukie
July 12, 2015

Here’s the reason they sell em. MONEY! You pay double for a 30 pack of chewable or gummy vitamins, and most of them have a serving size of at least 2! So you’re paying 4xs as much for the same vitamin content you get in 1 pill. Not to mention,you can usually get pills in the jumbo containers and save more!

Member
Flukie
July 12, 2015

Dude, I got some chewable vitamins once – adult kind, not Flintstones – and they were sugary as hell. It hurt my teeth to chew them! And this is coming from a person who still find Pop-Tarts an acceptable breakfast!