Ween: Boys Club - Awkward Stuff

Ween: Boys Club – Awkward Stuff

 

WEEN – Boys Club (Shinola Vol.1)

 

In honor of gay marriage being legal in all 50 states (I’m surprised that it took so long, and that the vote wasn’t unanimous), here is a feel good song with a feel good story involving gay acceptance. First off, Ween is one of my all-time favorite bands.  If you have never heard of them, or only know of them from “Push The Little Daisies” then you are missing out.  Their albums are so versatile: from one album to another, and within each album, there are so many genres of music.  It is impossible to classify Ween by just one song, and even if I were to try to, it would not be this one.  However, this is a fun little number so I hope you enjoy it. Boys Club reminds me of one of my waves of being extremely health conscious. My whole life I’ve gone through cycles of eating like a slob for months, and then compulsively exercising for weeks.

 

In 2006 I was living in Los Angeles. I exercised at the Bally’s in Hollywood. It was heavily populated with gays, and was very inspirational and motivational. Back home in IL, my brother was talking some shit, and saying that he could beat me in a 1.5 mile race. I was 2 years removed from being a smoker, and my brother never smoked, so I took his challenge very seriously. I went on a diet of only egg whites, plain tuna, plain chicken breasts, and dry Cheerios for a few months. No condiments, I didn’t even eat cheese- it was ridiculous! I did shed some serious weight while also training mad cardio.   Of course, I’d allow the 1 “cheat day” per week to ensure that I do not go Postal, but otherwise I was completely determined to beat my brother in that race we had scheduled to go down at Indiana Beach: Summer of 2006.

 

I won’t bore you by telling you how a challenge from an older sibling will motivate you to force your body to do things that you never thought you could, so I’ll just tell you that in the Summer of ’06 Rusty Fish Hook’s cardio was better than it ever was, and has not been that good since. So this is where the gay tie in comes to play (pun NOT intended): After my intense workouts at Bally’s, I would always follow it up with a good steam…in the guys’ locker room, a.k.a the Boys Club. The steam room at that location has 4 levels of stadium seating in a squared horseshoe formation which faces the door. They had that baby cranked up so hot that you couldn’t see your fingers in front of your own face. Plenty of THICK steam to wade through as you stagger about trying to find a seat, which were few and far between. My first time there, I walked in and I was stumbling over people’s legs left and right. It was so God damn hot that it almost felt like it was malfunctioning. It was like a moist version of Hell. I felt like I was on Venus or something. The water drips coming off the ceiling felt like embers- like if someone was putting out cigarettes on my back and neck. It was more like a torture chamber than a steam room.

 

Luckily, I found a seat in the second row.   Across the way I could hear some dude chomping on bubble gum, or something.   It was loud and obnoxious. After a few minutes those water drips weren’t so bad. Once your body adjusts to the extreme temperature, zero visibility, and air that is thicker than molasses, the drops of scalding hot water were almost soothing…but there was still that bubble gum chomping! I was thinking “Chew the fucking gum! Don’t broadcast it across the steam room!” All I could hear were lips smacking! The acoustics of the steam room gave off an echo that amplified the sound to a maddening level- how could there be 20 captive dudes in this steam room, and NOBODY is telling this motherfucker to chew with his mouth closed?? I almost said something, then I heard a “hmmmm” which was followed by some serious smacking– and I got a cold chill down my spine. Just then, the steam was starting to clear a bit- then I saw it: Two guys passionately making out. Lip smacking? Check. Sensual moaning? Check. Now, I understood why nobody opened their mouths…except for those two guys. Not going to lie, I found it disgusting. I would be equally put off if it was a man and a woman doing that in a steam room at a health club.  Now… if it was two women going at it, I probably would’ve stuck around for a bit.

 

Needless to say, it was a surreal experience that I am pretty sure I would NOT have seen in the part of the country where I came from. It is great that as a country we are moving toward acceptance. Let’s keep the forward momentum.   Anyway, back to the race: Big brother knew he would lose the race and even admitted that I would have beat him (rather than actually going through with it and finding it out that way). I was a little disappointed that he wouldn’t compete, but at least I got his admission. As far as WEEN goes, Boys Club is on Shinola Vol. 1 (I wish they would’ve put out a volume 2 before they broke up).  Learn more about Ween HERE.

 

to hear more awesome songs while reading their awkward reviews click HERE.

 

 

Like Boys Club?  Good.

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