SLAYER – In The Name of God
Trust No One
Don’t trust anyone. Over time, your friends and family will let you down. Also, don’t trust the L.A.P.D., and don’t believe album reviews. Every piece of art should be judged on its own merit, and is entitled to the viewpoints of every individual that is targeted as a fan. Reviews are just somebody’s opinion. They are the opinions of some shithead who happens to have a platform that gets your attention. Nothing more, nothing less. Opinions are like assholes; more times than not, they stink… and are full of shit. Every review deserves opposition, including this one. LIES IN THE NAME OF GOD is one of my favorite Slayer songs, but it is on an album that is widely heralded as Slayer’s worst album- which happens to be my second favorite Slayer album. Go figure! This illustrates my point that everyone’s taste is unique. Blah, blah, blah… So you’re probably wondering “What does not trusting an album review have to with trusting the L.A.P.D.?” I will get to that. Hold your fucking horses! I apologize for the swear. Anyway, in Awkward Stuff’s Fire in the Hole review (click HERE) I brushed over my Korea Town, Los Angeles era. Below is a fun story from that time period. Kind of a short story, actually.
During the period in which this story takes place, I was living on unemployment from recently parting ways with Hollywood Video. When you’re on unemployment your perspective of the world is skewed. I got summoned for jury duty, so my thoughts were the OPPOSITE of everyone else who gets summoned. Anyone with a job, or a life, tries to get out of jury duty (like I did the two other times I was selected), but my thoughts were “By God, I’m GONNA be on this jury!” It was a reckless homicide trial. I was so excited by it. It’s a little creepy that I was so excited, actually. I could literally taste the defendant’s fate lingering in the palm of my hand. Well, not literally taste it, that would be gross. Plus I don’t even think that’s possible. Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself- On my way downtown (it being a strange land for me), and I have to say the subway cars in L.A. circa 2005-06 were clean enough to lick the seats AND floors- Unbelievable!!! Chicago’s subways don’t come anywhere near that on cleanliness. Anyway, fresh off the subway, and I have NO idea where I’m going, I see this kind police officer motioning for me to come to him. I’m thinking “I must look lost. This kind civil servant will tell me where I need to go.” I walk over to him, and he tells me that I just jaywalked. Then, the COCKSUCKER writes me a $130 ticket!! I couldn’t believe it. While on my way to jury duty, I get popped for friggin’ jay walking! What In The Name of God? Of all times to get screwed over by the LAPD, it happens when I’m on my way to help serve justice. Ironic. How are we supposed to trust these motherfuckers when they pull that shit? Anyway, I didn’t get on the Jury. I even lied about something thinking it would help, but it may have done the opposite. In closing, I’d like to point out that the L.A.P.D. that I have dealt with in my 2 years are a bunch of jagoffs.
PS- Slayer has a new album dropping on 9/11 of this year. Read about that HERE. (if you want)
PPS- Happy Sabbath Day, Father’s Day, and Summer solstice!!
PPPS- Learn more about Slayer.
This is Rusty Fish Hook saying “Stay Awkward”
For the list of all of our awkward (but awesome) song reviews click HERE.